Sweet Addiction

Everyone has addictions. I have addictions, you have addictions. Even if we don't admit them out loud.

Usually people consider it a bad thing. Most people think addiction and think drugs, smoking, drinking.

But it can be a good thing too. Brushing your teeth, getting up at a certain time, checking yourself right before you swear. These are addictions.

Addiction, impulse, obsession.

Some of my addictions are to being lazy, animals, coffee, walking in circles, sex. I think about or finding myself indulging my addictions at least once a day. They are my tender lovers stroking the back of my head, whispering sweet nothings in my ear.

I guess I'm lucky. I haven't had much experience with the 'hard' addictions. Yeah, I've smoked and drank before. Though I don't smoke now and I really only drink at New Years.

The last time I drank was with my family at Grant's Farm, a zoo-like attraction in St. Louis, Missouri. Everyone was sharing their experiences with drugs and tricking stupid people into thinking they were drunk on soda. But apparently drugs don't affect my family. Woo. That's a little depressing. Isn't it?

Fun times with my family. It's a huge family. We've all smoked, most still do. My elder sister kicked the habit after she had all her kids ("thank god cigarettes lowered their birth weights!"). We all drink. It's fun. My sister drank her ex-boyfriend under the table last New Year's. Not an uncommon occurrence.

We come from alcoholic fathers. My elder siblings are actually my half siblings, though we share the same last name and grew up together. Our fathers both come from the same general bloodline, my father was married into the family of their father. They both come from the same generation, being more than a decade older than mom; they served in the military, come from farming families and were abusive drunks.

I was lucky in that my father had been broken of his habit of beating the crap out of everyone before I grew up enough to remember.

He still drinks. But he doesn't hurt anyone now.

Addictions are really only bad when they hurt others. If you want to hurt yourself, fine, we'll tolerate you. It is a free country.

I think I would like to break a few more of my addictions and to start a few new, better ones in their place. I recently broke my personal vow of abstinence, but I think I'll renew that. I need to get another exercise-like addiction. That would be a helpful, don't you think? Let's all make a resolution to gain a new addiction, just for fun. We could all use another secret love affair to make our lives more enjoyable.